Sunday, August 23, 2009

What To Do, What To Do

Well, I've been thinking, pondering, and most importantly, praying about what to do. I've felt God pulling me in a direction that I have not been certain I was willing to go. I know, this sounds ridiculous, since I try so hard to just go where I am lead... but every now & then, He points down a path, and I stop & say, "Are you sure you want me to go there? I don't know if I want to do that..." and then I sit right down in the middle of the path to ponder. There are just so many reasons I can think of NOT to share this "religion-stuff."

Not very faithful or trusting, is it?

This summer has been an incredible experience for me, and I have definitely felt the Hand of God at work. If someone had told me in June that I was about to embark on a life-changing journey of faith, I would have said, "Yeah, right. I'll be lucky to retain my sanity after a summer of staying home with my kids! 'Life-changing' this summer will not be, unless it ends with me in the asylum."

And then an amazing thing happened.

I tripped & fell face-first into the blogs of some. amazing. women. I did not know that women mothered their children and cared for their families and lived their lives, walking each and every day, hand in hand with Christ, the way that these women do. Each of them inspired me with their "radical" (um, yeah...) ideas. I learned (and continue to learn) daily from their wisdom. And I've never actually met any of them!

I suddenly felt a strange calm come over me. Seriously, strange. Like, I always hoped this kind of feeling existed, but never thought I would be blessed to feel it.

I think they call it "Intentional Living in Christ," or something like that (hey, I'm still learning), and I thought that sounded interesting. I read on, and learned more about how they live their lives.

And so my journey began.

And little by little, I have felt this calm creeping in around the edges of my life. It's not here all the time, or even most of the time... yet. But I catch glimpses of it almost daily now. And it rocks. I want more.

And I want to share it. I want to thank those women, and I want to share what I have learned, what I am learning.

But where should I share it? This blog? "keowdieknits?" Didn't seem quite appropriate. It's a knitting blog. And although I could quote several scriptures about people being "knit" together in love, and God having "knit" us together in the womb... well that feels like a bit of a stretch.

And then I remembered: I have another blog. I started it a while ago. I had intended to document my struggles & triumphs with depression & anxiety disorder. I didn't really keep it up because when I triumph it's hard to describe, and when I struggle, it's not easy to share.

It's called My Purple Brick Road.

I called it that because I think of my life as being like Dorothy's journey in The Wizard of Oz. It has triumphs & tribulations, friends & foes, sunny meadows & dark forests (and maybe even apple-throwing trees & flying monkeys) along the way. But I have God with me. He is ever present. He puts up road signs pointing me down this path or that, and sets up obstacles deterring me from going this way or that. (I don't always listen, of course...)

This seems like the perfect venue to share this new journey. It encompasses my journey into true faith, my family, and my struggle to manage the depression & anxiety.

So, over the next few weeks, I will be working to return this blog to a knitblog, suitable for sharing all kinds of crafty goodness. And I will be working to transform the other blog into a place for me to share my posts that are more faith and family oriented.

If you are one of my knitterly friends, I hope you will stick around as I share more of that part of my life.

If you are one of my Christian or mom friends, I hope that you will come on over & follow me in my amazing journey to be the wife, mother, and woman in Christ that I know I can be, as I answer His call, and learn how to truly walk in faith every day.


Beth@Not a Bow in Sight said...

Praise God! He's doing great things...even through blogging :)

Anonymous said...

Kelly, you are too kind and have blessed ME so much. I am truly humbled (if I'm even allowed to admit that myself). But just like you, God is teaching me. Every step of everyday. I am just a vessel He uses, but it is Him drawing you into Himself. Just keep moving toward His voice. Don't let anything distract you from where He's calling you to. ((Hugs)). I will go visit your other blog :)